WARNING: If you do not have a sense of humor or is easily offended by sarcastic (meant to be funny) comments, please don’t comment ridiculous things. And this is quite lengthy, so be prepared.
Oh. The time has finally come for a zombie apocalypse, and the only people left in this world are K-Pop stars.
But this isn’t any zombie apocalypse, this is a simulation with everyone watching the game, but only these K-Pop stars won’t know about the game.
“Dear God, help these poor fools,” is what you’re thinking right? Well probably not, but there’s a chance that your mind just wandered into that territory after reading that.
*Ahem* Let’s go on. Here’s the details, there are 10 guys, extremely hot guys left on the world of zombies without a medic. Yes without a medic.
And the KMUSIC editors and writers have gathered to determine their Best Zombie Apocalypse Team as the Gods of this fated game.
Now, let the games begin!
1. Leader (Big Bang) Kwon Ji-Yong; Code Name: G-Dragon
– He would lead the group to places that zombies wouldn’t think of, a hide-out of some sort and when they get near the team, he calls out an all-out attack. Because if your leader isn’t an edgy, bad- (you know what I mean) then you’re gonna die man. And die quickly you shall or incredibly slow and painful since they’re zombies. And they’re kinda like “Ahhh, dakdahdjahwe, brains, sdfhkhsfksd.”
2. Brawler (EXO) Huang Zitao; Code Name: Tao
– Oh come on, why wouldn’t this guy be your top fighter. He would beat everyone with his epic wushu, martial arts skills. Even though this guy looks calm, he’s hiding a full army under that dark smile and pitch-black eyes. And if you’re just sitting around, he can chop up some apples and crap. If you had apples, or well any food in fact . . . Let’s continue.
3. Weapons Expert (Block B) Woo Ji Ho; Code Name: Zico
– Hey, this guy looks like a bad- with his epic hair and crap. His name even spells out weapons. If Zico doesn’t bring the thought of nukes, guns and knifes to mind then who will? Even in Nillili Mambo, he had a gun and he was chasing the members around and was all aggressive looking and intimidating. His entire being kinda spells out “I have weapons, I know what they’re used for and I am not afraid to nuke this entire building.” Yah, he’s probably the one you don’t want to make mad.
4. Brains (Super Junior) Cho Kyuhyun; Code Name: Kyuhyun
– This guy was actually wanting to be a lawyer. Those guys are smart, and he’s actually enrolled in Kyunghee University, well before the school got tore down by the zombies and probably Zico with a bomb. And man, his father was in the education business and owned a school. This guy gotta be smart. I mean come on, he’s Asian (Oh God, the Asian stereotype joke, it had be done). He would be the one to get all the tactics together and plan everything. And well get G-Dragon not to lead them all to death.
5. Speed Fighter (SHINee) Choi Minho; Code Name: Minho
– Speed Fighter Minho, there’s a nice ring to that. He probably be a very good jumper too, since he does play a high jump gold medalist in “To the Beautiful You.” And he’s pretty fast; you always see him running in marathons and races. So there’s the speed but is he a good fighter? Probably. Yah, probably. Well if he isn’t, he’s screwed.
6. War Tactics (Big Bang) Choi Seung-hyun; Code Name: T.O.P
– Why would you need war tactics in a zombie invasion? Well, you need plans that the brains wouldn’t come up with. T.O.P would be that awesome guy who just shoots out all of the techniques to go kill the zombies. Well not kill, they’re already dead. His experiences in war movies also helps him in this department. Mhmm. Just imagine an epic T.O.P general directing and helping the leader. He’s like the co-captain. Oh yeah.
7. Mascot (B.A.P.) Choi Joon Hong; Code Name: Zelo
– Well when everyone’s tense and stressed about you-know-zombies. You have the mascot to keep everyone happy including the Gods of the game. (Us Writers and Editors) Like he’s so cute, that he just has to be the mascot, and he’s super silly so it would just make the other guys laugh at the end of the zombie-filled day.
8. Eye-Candy (B2st) Yang Yo Seob; Code Name: Yoseob
– Really, this was just to please us–Gods of the Game. Yah he’s pretty pointless in the zombie apocalypse but he’s good-looking so we let him live. He can make the female zombies fall in love with him. Yah that’s totally what he’s useful for.
9. The Spy (B1A4) Jung Jinyoung; Code Name: Jinyoung
– Why do you need a spy? Well, he’s technically not a spy, he’s just super sneaky and he can go sneak around places because he’s a spy and stuff. He can find food without the zombies knowing he’s there. He’s just good like that. I mean look at his face, he would never be caught because he’s so calm and happy looking. No one would know he’s a “spy.”
10. The Guy Who Dies First (SHINee) Lee Tae-min; Code Name: Taemin
– Well it has to end with the guy who dies first. Why do us writers and editors think Taemin would die first? Well in the video “Ring Ding Dong,” everyone in SHINee has a super power. Jonghyun controls fire, Onew controls time, Minho is an angel, Key has an evil twin and you know what Taemin does?! He drinks milk! Come on, everyone has like a super epic power and he drinks milk. Like if that doesn’t spell out “the guy who dies first” then who knows what will.
Well that concludes KMUSIC’s pick on the Best (?) K-Pop Zombie Apocalypse Team. What would your team be? And how long would they live in your game?
Article by: Jenny & Glenn
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